Dumb Digg of the Dayy

Check it out, it’s a bunch of unlabeled boxes.

What’s in those boxes, you ask? No one knows. The author of the story asked one of the warehouse employees but the employee said something like “I can’t tell you.”

It should end there except this particular warehouse is known to ship Apple products. And, even though thousands of other Apple products are sold everyday, the next generation iPhone is supposed to be coming out next week. Thus, there is the possibility these plain brown boxes might contain…

(Patience my Paduan Learner…)

Next Generation iPhones!

“What?! Did he say ‘iPhone’? He didn’t say iPhone did he? Oh my God, oh my God, he did, HE DID!!!! Those boxes just might maybe could contain iPhones!!!!”

DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG — gasp — DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG DIGG

That’s right. No matter how remote the possibility, no matter how tangential the relationship, no matter how meaningless the story: if it involves the iPhone, it’s going to the top of Digg. Check it out: 647 Diggs and climbing.

Hmmm, if a picture of cardboard boxes that probably don’t have iPhones in them is enough to make the front page, then I have information that will definitely get this story to the front page. To help me present this important information to you, let me introduce my good friend:

Apple Fan Boy.

“Uhh, can’t you see I’m on my iPhone?!”

Sorry. But I figured you’d like to meet this UPS driver.

“Dude, I’m like zooming back and forth on a picture of my dog. Why would I care about some loser UPS Driver?”

Because UPS drivers deliver boxes to stores.

“Duh! Everybody knows that noob! If you don’t mind, I’m trying to watch Kevin Rose imitate Bill O’Reilly on my iPhone! It’s awesome!”

Sorry. Just thought you might be interested in knowing that this guy might — one day — be delivering boxes of iPhones to an Apple store.

“OMG, are you serious?! You’re totally right! How else would those awesome boxes of iPhones get there?! OMG, OMG, OMG…iPhones!!!!”

“Wait a minute, this guy can’t deliver all of those boxes! Those boxes are WAAY too bulky for him to carry! Nice try jerk!”

Good observation young man. That’s why I am posting this picture of a hand truck.

“A truck built just for your hand? Awesome. I bet Apple thought of that. Still — all things considered — I prefer my iPhone.”

No kid, a hand truck is a device used to move boxes.

“Booring! Check this out, it’s a video of a Japanese guy playing with a ball. I’m watching it live on my iPhonester! (That’s what I call my iPhone sometimes!)”

Boring huh? Well how boring would it be if those boxes happened to contain … iPhones?

“OMG, are you serious!?!? That iTruck was built to move iPhones!!!! Yes, YES! YES! iPhones!!!!!

So you like these pictures huh?

“OMG, they are totally awesome! I’m totally gonna Digg this story!!! Then I’ll share it with all my friends, they gotta know about the iTruck!”

Actually it’s called a hand truck.

“Whatever. It’s just so totally APPLE to build a carrying device specially for the iPhone. In fact I heard they saved like 32% in production costs by developing the iTruck. Steve Jobs built the first one out of Legos when he was four! And when I said FOUR right there, I meant FOUR WEEKS!”

Seriously dude, it wasn’t built to move iPhones. It can be used on any kind of box.

“Cross-platform functionality, huh? Apple does it again! Stupid Microsoft! If they made a box carrying device it’d probably have like one wheel missing and wouldn’t support iTunes. Jerks.”

Whatever. I have to go now.

“Hey did you hear the rumor? They’re gonna release iTruck Puma next year. It’s supposed to be KILLER!”

I said I have to go.