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I’m in a goddamn bad mood today — don’t ask — and not interested in coddling your little “I’m bored” motherfuckin asses. That’s why I’m running some shit to mirror my mood. Check it out assholes, it’s time for
The Daily Punk
(July 29, 2008 Edition)
1. Fucking Belding
Goddamn Belding. Bad enough he assisted in A.C. Slater’s plan to bone the entire population of hotties in Los Angeles, now he’s apparently decided to finish off the rest. Leave some ladies for the mortals Belding, you son of a bitch.
2. Senator Stevens Indicted
Naturally. Even more naturally, Fox News labels him a — wait for it — Democrat. ARGHGGHG.
Nice editorial standards, he’s only the longest tenured Senator, that’s all.
3. Can We Stop Calling Crap Like This “Creative Accounting”?
Yesterday, the White House said the deficit will balloon to $490 billion next year. Oops, turns out that number was wrong. The Bush Administration “bean counters” “fergot” to turn in a couple a receipts. Lessee here, looks like we got a bill from the unemployment office. What’s this, an invoice from Medicare? Shoot! Oh and maybe we should have totaled in the cost of the War.
The worst part about this is the euphemism employed by ABCNews. They call it “creative accounting.” Creative accounting is when your Uncle manages to deduct the cost of his Playboy subscription as a “motivational business expense.” Leaving out $110 billion of expenses isn’t creative accounting, it’s:
a. A Lie. Or
b. “Shitty Accounting.”
Of course shitty accounting is par for the course from this Presidency.
The Sultan of the Party of Personal Responsibility — ever indignant — blames the Democrats. Yup, they did it! Which is asinine since the Democrats have only been in control of Congress for about 14 months. They work quick, them liberals do. The Democrats weren’t the ones who cut taxes of course. Heck no! Democrats love taxes. And, of course, the GOP is the one who started this six year War. Them pussies? Course not! And, small government or not, Bush is responsible for increasing the bulk of the bureaucracy. Snooping don’t happen on its own ya’ dummy. But, you know, it’s the Democrats fault. Yup.
Question for the laity: Name one domestic problem facing this Country — and there are many — that Bush has taken responsibility for. (
(Notice I didn’t put a question mark there. That’s because there are no examples to find, don’t bother. I tried.).
Oh, FYI, looks like the deficit is even higher than I said. It’s $789 billion. If you hang around for an hour or so maybe we can make it a trill.
4. Fanboy is Now a Word
We’re getting dumer bi the minit. Lik.
The blogosphere is — once again — up in arms over FoxNews’ racial insensitivity. In case you missed it, while FoxNews’ Megan Kelly was discussing Michelle Obama, they ran a graphic stating: “Outraged Liberals: Upset with Attacks on Obama’s Baby Mama.”*
Liberals and everyone with half a brain in their head is calling it racist. I, however, think this is too harsh. I say we give Fox the benefit of the doubt. I think they’re just trying to appeal to the younger generation; to be more “hip” and “with it.”** Using the lingo. And, in line with their new edgy, hipster ‘tude, here are a few more headlines we can expect to see:
The Conservative blogs are defending Fox’ characterizations because Michelle Obama evidently called Barack her “Baby Daddy” four years ago. Thus, Fox can call her that too. In light thereof, we went ahead and made one more little graphic. Hey, if John McCain can call his wife this, Fox can too right?
*FYI: Here’s the definition of a Baby Mama from Urban Dictionary. It’s tame, if anything…
A term used to define an unmarried young woman (but can be a woman of any age) who has had a child. As mentioned before in another definition, most of the time it is used for when it was simply a sexual relationship, compared to ex-wife or girlfriend. Usually this has a negative connotation, a lot of baby mamas are seen as desperate, gold digging, emotionally starved, shady women who had a baby out of spite or to keep a man. Sometimes they may act like this because of missed child support payments, unfulfilled promises by the father, or convenient sex by the father. Either or both may exist in any situation.
**Technically speaking anyone who uses the word “hip” is — by definition — not. Not what, you ask? Hip. It’s circular, I know but — trust me — also true.
(Courtesy of our other home — ImperfectUnion.com!
Sean Hannity is a Racist Coward
I hope you were sitting down when you read that as it may come as something of a shock but, yes, it’s true, Sean Hannity is a racist. And a coward. A smug arrogant fuck who equates hate with conservatism but doesn’t have the balls to come out and say what he thinks. This accusation comes out in light of the fact that he has enjoyed a long relationship with the racist talk show host Hal Turner. This isn’t merely a cordial professional relationship with a colleague, Turner is a full scale racist and advocate of violence. You can cull the web for numerous examples of his hatred or you can just go to halturner.com. I didn’t bother reading past the first post when I found this:
Barak Obama is a half breed negro with overt Marxist leanings who engaged in homo sex while using drugs. I can just see him doing to America what his fellow Africans have done for their countries: Mugabe has Zimbabwe starving; Mandella collapsed South Africa. . . the whole continent suffers skyrocketing crime and rampant disease. Want that for America?
Turner’s comments aren’t merely a “different point of view.” He is, indeed, a dangerous criminal who incites crime and smugly celebrates the harm he has done:
To give you a real life example of what I mean, a couple years back, I “opined” on my radio show that a ruling made by U.S. District Court Judge Joan Humphrey-Lefkow made her “worthy of being killed.” (She ordered a church to destroy its religious materials over a “trademark”).
After I gave my “opinion” a gunman broke into the Judge’s home in Chicago and murdered her husband and mother. Later, when cops hunted down the gunman, he committed suicide before being taken, so there was no proof he did anything because of me.
And, of course, he’s an ardent believer in respecting the ideas of others:
I am perfectly willing to use force and violence against my enemies while Sean Hannity and others are not. Those using me as a prop to attack Sean Hannity would do well to remember this fact. Rest assured I will remember them when the opportunity presents itself…
So what does this have to do with Hannity? They’re friends. But don’t take it from me, take it from the chief accuser, his “friend” the white supremacist Hal Turner:
I was quite disappointed when Sean Hannity at first tried to say he didn’t know me and then went on to say that I ran some senate campaign in New Jersey. In fact, Sean Hannity does know me and we were quite friendly a number of years ago.
Indeed, more than friends. As Max Blumenthal has detailed, Hannity cultivated his friendship with Turner; using him as a foil to express opinions he could not:
Hannity recognized his audience’s thirst for red meat, racist rhetoric. However, he knew that if he wanted to avoid [the former host’s] fate, he needed an air of deniability. When “Hal from North Bergen” began calling his show, Hannity found he could avoid the dangers of direct race-baiting by simply outsourcing it to Turner.
This alone should cause suspicion of Hannity but Turner backs it up with concrete facts; facts that are easily substantiated by Fox:
Around 1997, Sean invited me and my then-three-year-old-son, to come to Fox News Channel to be in the studio (NOT ON THE AIR) during a live broadcast of “Hannity & Colmes”. I accepted the invitation and my son and I went. We were inside the studio standing between the camera men as the show aired live…
Fox must commence an investigation of this accusation today. Commentators and television reporters are given a public trust that must be honored. If in fact Hannity invited this guy to the studio and maintained the friendship Turner describes then that trust has been broken. This is beyond listening to the viewpoint of persons who hold different opinions. Turner is a full-fledged supremacist who utilizes his ignorant voice to silence anyone who dares oppose him.
Sean Hannity should be sentenced according to his own standard. When the Jeremiah Wright story broke he called for Obama to resign from the campaign and from the Senate based solely on his “associations” with Wright. Like the spineless ass he is, of course, he doesn’t have the decency to abide by his own terms.