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Folks’ve been waiting for Axl Rose to release Chinese Democracy for about fifteen years. They wasted their time. Evidently some blogger got his hands on the album and posted a few of the songs on his site. It was shut down in a few hours but the cat was — REEEROOOR! — out of the bag.  Now those songs are on the Intertubes; spreading like some horrific disease.

And I do mean horrific. There’s a reason Axl hasn’t released this shit. Because it is shit. Take a listen. Pay particular attention to “Madagascar” in which Axl once again repeats the infamous line from Civil War/Cool Hand Luke: “what we got here is failure to communicate.”

Yes, Axl, that is what we have here. But, you know, some men you just can’t reach.

First: Madagascar

Second: If The World


The Daily Punk

March 30, 2008

(Sorry I Went On Vacation and Neglected My Poor Blog Thus I Am Throwing Crap at the Wall Like a Drunken Monkey Edition)

1.  The Age of the Instrapreneur

A new technology allows for the immediate fabrication of any three dimensional object; what Wired Magazine is calling the “Age of the Instrapreneur.”  Pretty fascinating implications; whatever you can think of is instantly created. But I don’t like it.

This reminds me of the “Feed” from Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age.  In the Diamond Age Stephenson envisioned the needs of the poor being met through a fabrication device that would instantly create anything people want.  This ultimately leads to a restless, dissatisfied society who realize that power and control can’t be subsumed to material goods (or something like that, dissecting Stephenson is far beyond my menial abiltiies).

2.  The Lark

My boy Jack Green is singing for a Portland area band, The Lark.  I’ve been promising to put their logo up here but I freaking suck.  Anyway, here you go.  Click on the logo to listen to the band; they sound awesome.

Portland Area Band the Lark

3.  Chinese Democracy

Dr. Pepper has promised a free Doctor Pepper to every human on the planet if Axl Rose actually gets off his ass and releases the long awaited “Chinese Democracy” Guns & Roses album.  Don’t start licking your lips Mr. Pibb, Chinese Democracy has been under production for fifteen years and no one has heard more than a handful of songs. Also keep in mind their last album was Choose Your Illusion, a double disc set that had about four good songs combined.  Since then he’s fired everyone and become a recluse.  This doesn’t bode well.

4.  The Truth About National Debt

If you give a shit, take a look at this.  Seems accurate. In a nutshell your fiscally responsible republicans like borrowing money whereas Democrats believe in responsible spending.  Sorry Dad.

The Truth About the National Debt

5.  Whatever Happened to Jonna Lee?

There’s a made for TV movie on today — Shattered Innocence — that features an actress named Jonna Lee.  In the movie she plays Pauleen Anderson, a young woman who moves to Hollywood and ends up getting into the porn.  If you’ve ever seen this oft-played movie you’ll remember her as the recipient of the immortal line: “It doesn’t matter what kind of films you make as long as they are profitable.”  In hindsight this line pretty much sums up fame since about 1995.  As I’ve noted before, a long string of twits have learned that fame follows foolishness; from Pamela to Paris to Kim to Ashley, etc.

But the really interesting part is the actress Jonna Lee.  As this blog notes, this woman was hot and attractive and utterly disappeared after this movie. Other than a few “Murder She Wrotes,” she never worked again.
Whatever Happened to Jonna Lee?

 6. Amy Acuff is Hot

U.S. Olympian Amy Acuff is so hot I may just have to brave the Beijing squat toilets:

Olympic Girls

7.   Gunter Glieben Glauten Globen

It’s hot girl day, let’s stop pretending.  And there is nothing hotter than a hottie who likes to rock.

Like this chick.

Gunter Glieben Glauten Globen Shirt

8.  Livan Hernandez Kicks Ball to First Basemen

This is probably the most amazing play I’ve ever seen.  Met’s pitcher Livan Hernandez realizes he’s too fat to pick the ball up so he kicks it instead.  Flat out awesome play.

9.  Rick Rolled

The newest thing the kids are up to?  Rick Rolling people.  If you haven’t been Rick Rolled it basically involves somebody posting a link with some sort of tag line like “check out this rad video of two chipmunks fighting over an acorn,” then you click on it to find…


Here’s a chick who got Rick Rolled.

Rick Rolled Hottie

10.  Blog Etiquette

I went away for a few days — to Eastern Washington — and completely neglected my blog.  This is the suck part of the Internet. You live somewhere like Seattle and everybody and their mother has a wireless network you can jack.  You go to Wenatchee and you’re lucky to find someone who can spell “Interweb.”  This is my roundabout way of saying that I failed to apologize for my inexcusable failure to blog.