The Daily Punk

March 22, 2008

(Let’s Not Kid Each Other, I Stayed Up Until 3 and There’s No Way I’m Coming Up With 10 Items Edition)

1.  Carville Steals Richardson’s 30 Pieces of Silver

In the ironies of ironies involving the word “irony” James Carville stated that it was “ironic” that Bill Richardson choose Friday to announce his support of Obama because it was Good Friday and thus relevant in some way to Judas’ betrayal of Jesus.  First let’s set the record straight, there is nothing “ironic” about Richardson’s decision falling on some anniversay of Judas’ betrayal (dontcha think?).  At best it might be “appropos” or “not uncoincidental” but ironic, no.

What is ironic, however, is that a representative of Hillary would call a decision based on principles rather than personal gain an ironic and Judas-like act of betrayal.  The only person betraying their principles for personal gain here is Carville and the other so-called Democrats who continue to push this pointless campaign of Hillary’s (at the expense of their own party).  Carville’s statement about Richardson benefitting in some way (although he did not) by standing on principle was itself unprincipled and beneficial only to himself.  Carville’s analogy was inapposite to Richardson but utterly congruous with his own words.

And thus was the definition of irony met.

2.  Deltalina.

Delta hired a hot chick to do their safety video.  Her name is Katherine Lee but the kids are calling her “Deltalina.”

 3.  Cyndi Lauper Snags Coveted Spot #715 on Top 1000 All Time Song List

This website is engaged in the otherwise herculean effort to list the top 1000 songs of all time.  Actually just listing the top 1000 songs of all time would be a piece of cake compared with what they are doing: providing a profile on each f&@%ing song. Crazy.

Anyway, the top 1000 kids think Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” is 715.  I have no idea maybe, who cares.  I’ve always assumed that Cyndi Lauper was joking about being a musician.  My only recollection of her was throwing stuff at Captain Lou Albano and having pink hair.  And frankly “True Colors” is crap.  It is in the second worst category of song — Inspiration Pop.  It’s the musical antecedent of “Wind Beneath My Wings,” a song which begat “I Believe I Can Fly.”

Back to Lauper.  I gave her no cred.  But a few weeks ago I heard a great cover she “AnneWilsonofHeart” (you have to say it as one word) did of Maybe I’m Amazed.  It’s available on YouTube.

4.  More Ironical Ironies of Ironies

BTW, you might have noticed I didn’t actually write the word “fucking” in the above post.  Instead I used all those crazy symbols.  There are two reasons for this:

One, the use of symbols in place of actual letters have been shown to convey the same meaning and yet is deemed “less offensive” than typing the word by the Pointless Acts of Decency Association.  These are the same guys who think slightly “fuzzing” Audrina’s nipples out of her topless shots makes it acceptable to show on E! and that “body paint” constitutes clothing.

Two, I got bounced by some liberal blog ad network because my site does not meet their moral standards.  Namely, too much swearing.  You heard it right, a liberal blogging network rejecting a blog as “too offensive.”  Hey Carville, there’s another example of “ironic’ for you.

5.  Least Attractive Teen Girl in Movie History.

Swimfan is on.  That’s the movie where the girl likes the swim stud. He bones her but he’s got a way hotter girlfriend so he blows her off.  She gets pissed and pulls a bunch of shenanigans on him which would be easily resolved were someone to pick up the phone and call 911 but, like Jennifer Lopez’ character in “Enough,” this thought never seems to cross his mind.  Anyway.  Terrible movie.

But it reminded me of Erika Christensen, a young woman who is — well there’s no other way to put it — homely.  Notwithstanding, Christensen managed to work what she had into a moderately successful career as “teen love interest.”

In Hollywood this is known as the “Jones, Dr. Christmas Jones” postulate.  When an actor somehow convince an entire industry to ignore their clear shortcomings and give them a job.  In addition to Christensen (and, you know, Dr. Christmas Jones), there are at least two other famous examples of this phenomena in practice:

  • First, when a short, pudgy bit part actor named Henry Winkler convinced ABC to cast him as uber-tough biker stud Arthur Fonzerelli.
  • Second, when utterly average actor Matt LeBlanc managed to convince the producers of Friends to cast him as the “super attractive young actor.”

Don’t believe me?  Here you go…

Bad Casting 101