(Ten Things People Are Talking About That I Find Interesting)

1. Bush Vetoes Waterboarding Bill. Ugh. Yo Republicans, I have a deal for you.  I’ll accept McCain as President if you agree he takes over today.  Sound good?

2. North Carolina Murder Suspect Identified. You could write a thousand page diatribe on the media’s obsession with the murders of young, pretty, white college girls. Or you can quit whining and recognize that hot girls are more important than you. The point is they released a picture of the suspect who is out using her credit cards. What a fucking moron.

3. Brands in Danger of Extinction. AOL.com has an article on “ubiquitous” brands in danger of extinction, like K-Mart, Old Navy, Vonage, etc. Curiously missing from that list? AOL.

4. Drunkorexia. The “new trend” for college girls is starving yourself all day then binge drinking at night. They call it “Drunkorexia.” In my day we called this Body by Jack Daniels. This “trend” ain’t “new.”

5. Daylight Savings Time. It’s tonight, move your clock ahead and lose an hour. By the way, the new science says daylight savings doesn’t actually save energy.  It wastes energy.  And they wonder why Americans won’t accept science. 

6. Obama Winning Wyoming. As I write this, Obama is up 56-40 in Wyoming with 30% of votes counted. Wyomingtons must not watch Saturday Night Live because then they’d know Hillary is Funny! (TM).

7. Jaclyn DeSantis, Carlito’s Way Actress. Carlito’s Way is on TV today. The movie stars an actress named “Jaclyn DeSantis.” She must be hot because this alone has pushed her to the top 50 on Google. You’re a perv, you’re looking for nude photos aren’t you? Here you go (NSFW).

8. Charlie Manson, World’s First Ecologist. I’m checking out MSNBC today for some reason. They are airing a rehash-show called the “Mind of Manson.” They brought in a psychologist, had her watch some old tapes of Manson ranting, then discussed what a dick he is. Interestingly, in that interview — conducted in 1987 — he criticized American citizens because they are “heating up the planet” which is “melting the ice caps.”  Uh, that’s weird.

9. Back Door Slam. Everybody’s jumping on the bandwagon of Isle of Man group “Back Door Slam.” Stop standing in the ruts nerds, you’re about to get run over.

10. International Rules of Manhood. Stuff like this is usually ridiculous. This isn’t. It’s hilarious. And true.