The Daily Punk

March 16, 2008

1. Kristen Pictures Published: Is It Fair?

Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s attorney says the media’s use of her photos was “unauthorized” and that such use “violates copyright laws.”  Poor baby.  The photos I have seen of “Kristen” were all available from public sources; namely MySpace, Facebook, her pimp’s website, etc.  Had she wished them not to be seen she had the right — and the time — to take them down.   As reports have said, she was aware of the impending controversy days before the story broke.  Did she hide them?  Of course not.  In fact, she promoted them!

Regardless when you take money from the Governer of New York for sex I kinda think you may have made yourself a public figure.  It might — might — be a different story if she didn’t know he was Governor.  But the “OMG, I Just Fucked the Governor” text kinda takes care of that.

2.  Return of the El Camino.

Eeeet’s Back!!

World’s Dumbest Mother Fucking Vehicle

Yup, everyone’s favorite car-truck hybrid — the El Camino — has returned, uglier than ever.

3. Mission Accomplished: Hillary Claws Barack Back Into Boiling Pot.

Two weeks ago both Democratic candidates had a commanding lead over McCain and Hillary had no chance of besting Obama for the Democratic nomination.  In other words:

Obama > Hillary > McCain

So what’s a lady to do?  Why refuse to quit and keep digging up dirt of course!  So how did that work?  Oh, I see.  McCain now has a slim lead over both Democratic candidates while Hillary’s odds against Obama remain the same (in fact, if anything, they’ve gotten worse).  Thus:

McCain > Obama > Hillary

If you’re a fan of math you’d conclude that Hillary’s move makes no sense since it has brought her no tangible gain and has weakened her party’s chances.  Well, my friend, that’s where Math doesn’t know shit.  With both candidates now weakening, Hillary’s claim to the title actually increases.

The line on the Clintons has always been two-fold:  One, they’re best when underdogs.  Two, they’re dirty as hell.  The first argument is just ridiculous so ignore it.  The second one, however, has some teeth.  If the party believes — as is likely — that it is going to take a dirty SOB to win the election then who is the better candidate?  Obama has clearly shown a reticence to get down in the gutter with Hillary and start lobbing bombs.  Hillary, on the other hand, is the proverbial happy pig wallowing in shit.  Me?  I’m throwing out more tired analogies than Stuart Scott.

This is what I’ve always thought: Hillary would rather she be the candidate with a 30% chance than Obama be the candidate with a 70% chance.  And the party stood idly by and let her do it.

4.  More Charles Manson Murder Victims.

Police are digging up some old Charles Manson campsites.  The kids may have killed a few other folk along the way.  There is nothing more to know about this story.

5.  Both Darrin Stevenses, Together At Last.

You kids don’t know about this sort of phenomena but, back in the day, TV wasn’t held hostage to bullshit demands from the likes of the Friends’ crew.  You didn’t sign the contract, they fired your ass and brought in a replacement.  They did it with the Dad on Land of the Lost (he escaped, his brother miraculously showed up the same day), they did with Mr. Drummond’s wife “Maggie” and they did it with Darrin on Bewitched.  (Viewers were senseless sheep back then and just bought it no questions asked).  They call this the “Darrin Syndrome.”

Anyway somebody whipped up this sweet image showing both the Darrins side by side.

Darrin Stevenses

Once again I’m doing less than ten.  Folks there is NOTHING going on.
Bush Pulls Some More Crap.